Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Don't You Sometimes WANT To Choose Your Relatives?
OK, I'm not going to be naming names here, I don't want to rattle any cages, we'll just say my relative's name is "Dee Ceitful". (Get it?) Dee contacted me a few years ago looking for information on some shared ancestors. I haven't found very many living connections from this family, so I was pleased to hear from her. I should have suspected something was amiss when in that very first email, she gloated about having the family bible and photos she hadn't shared with anyone. In fact I did find her attitude off putting, but naturally she promised she would share these things with me as we exchanged information, so I sent her some of my research on our shared line. Then ...nothing. No photos, no copies of bible pages, just a big fat nothing.
After a few weeks went by I emailed her thinking she had lost my address or perhaps been detained by the authorities. In her reply she mentioned how her daughter had traveled to the ancestral village I had sent her the name of, but not a word about any family photos. The nerve! At that point I knew no photos would be forthcoming and vowed to send nothing further to this moocher.
Like all good moochers though, her requests didn't stop coming for a long time. Every once in awhile out of the blue, a question about the family would appear in my mailbox. No reciprocal family data, just requests for more from me. As welcome as an algae bloom in my koi pond, her missives were promptly deleted. This scenario has actually happened to me several times and it makes me sad. Working together we could uncover so much, why don't these people know that? Is it just me with these short sighted ones in their tree?
Finally it seemed I had shaken this sponge, no new mailings had shown up in my box for almost a year. And then it happened. In an odd twist of fate, a favorite cousin of mine happens to bear the exact same first and last names as Dee (her real ones that is). Last month after returning late from the local Celtic Festival I remembered it was my cousin's birthday. I hurriedly sent a happy birthday email to her and, you guessed it.. in my haste I mistakenly sent it to Dee. Along with the same name, they also have the same internet provider, and get this-- they actually have birthdays within three weeks of each other??? The narcissist never suspected the birthday wishes were not intended for her and the floodgates were reopened, sigh. At least I still have that delete button...